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Who Will Protect the Black Man?


Now that the footage from Tyre Nichols’ traffic stop has been released, we see a narrative that is rarely in the forefront of the media. The Black policeman (in this case several of them) mistreating the black man. We see Black men killing other Black men through gang activity or minor disputes so frequently that it’s almost numbing. But the Black policeman hurting the Black man? The one who vowed to protect and serve? This touches a layer of sadness I never knew I could feel.

With all of the headlines revolving around the White policeman and the black man one would think we have had enough. Now we see not one but five Black policemen mistreating and ultimately beating to death a man who looks like them. Even if there was a crime committed that required this amount of force (force meaning the amount of people), is the brutality necessary?

If not the officers who look like him…who’s going to protect the Black man? Love him? Nurture him? Care for him? For those who think…he’s a man, he can protect himself. Have you seen how the world treats him? Belittles him? Emasculates him? Hurts him? Doesn’t allow him the space to feel his emotions? I have spoken with many Black men specifically from America who have expressed feeling they don’t have a safe space in the place that they live, the places they work nor in confidence with the people they are surrounded by.

Imagine how scary it must be to feel consistently like you are in danger for simply living your life. Are you the enemy or the friend? Lover or confidante? Hater or degrader? Look closely and don’t try to disillusion yourself into thinking you’re not a part of the problem.

The Black man is a phenomenal being by design alone. His resilience, his strength, his endurance. He deserves the space to be able to grow to his full potential. Don’t kick him while he’s down. He’s dealing with enough by simply existing.

As a mother with a Black male child, I cannot conceive what this means for my son, a literal part of me, and the world he will have to endure. There are Black men in my life that I love, admire, aspire to see succeed and to think that the world historically doesn’t see them like I do hurts my heart.

I will be moving forward acting on the ways I can help the Black man feel loved and appreciated, desired and celebrated within my capability. What will you do?

To the family of Tyre Nichols, my condolences. I can not conceive all of the things you and your loved ones may be feeling right now. Stay strong. Justice will be served.

A special thank you to Janelle Thompson for inspiring me to write this.

A special thank you to the Black men in my life for allowing me to be your safe space.

And another special thank you to Lucas Gouvêa, Joey Nicotra, Julian Myles, Tamarcus Brown, Prince Akachi, Larry George II, and Terricks Noah for providing the imagery for my piece.

11 Year Old Boy Shoots Himself In Head With Handgun Found In Westside Apartment


San Antonio – Around 9:30 Friday morning, an 11 year old boy, playing with a gun, accidentally shot himself in the head at a west side apartment complex according to San Antonio authorities.

After finding the gun hidden in a drawer at The Terraces at Haven for Hope, 703 North San Marcos, near 410 Loop, the boy seemingly not knowing the gun was loaded, turned it on himself and pulled the trigger. He is currently in critical condition at an area hospital.

“I believe the dad thought the gun was secured or secluded at least,” Police Chief William Mcmanus said. “He didn’t realize he (the son) would get it but he did, and that’s where we are right now.” (KSAT)

Police are currently interviewing the parents and the boys four friends who were present when the shooting took place.

This story is still developing.

Alcoholic Blackouts And The Monsters Hiding Inside Them


You wake up, check your phone and the first message you see from your best friend reads:

“Yo we had such a wild night last night! Do you remember taking your clothes off and running down the street singing ‘My Humps’ by ‘The Black Eyed Peas? We couldn’t believe you did that! That was so unlike you!’

But try as you might through the pounding headache that’s threatening to have you calling in to work, you just can’t remember. The last thing you remember was taking those last fire and ice shots (ugh, why did you do that?) and the rest is just black. You don’t even remember how you got home.

Luckily it seems the worst thing you did was the nude run through the neighborhood. Thank God. Right?

Now, imagine this time you woke up in jail. Or worse, next to the body of someone you love with no recollection of the night before, and they are telling you that you murdered someone in cold blood. But how? You? You wouldn’t hurt a fly. But you did, violently and viscously in cold blood you murdered someone you love.

Seem crazy? It’s not so far off as overuse of alcohol has been known to cause people to do things that they would never ever do sober, and yes this even means murder. Not discounting the horror that comes from a drunk driver killing someone through negligence and carelessness. While that is absolutely devastating and horrifying, I’m referring to those who after polishing off a bottle of whatever hooch they so desire, literally become a different person. A dangerous person. Even a monster.

Such as in the tragic and horrendous case of 24 year old Fidel Lopez who had no idea he was harboring such a sadistic demon hiding on the other end of nothing more than a simple bottle of tequila.

After a heavy night of romance and drinking, Fidel Lopez literally ripped his girlfriend Maria Nemeth’s guts out of her body in a drunken jealous rage. Yes, you read that right, Fidel Lopez put his arm up inside of Maria, grabbed ahold of her intestines and ripped her whole stomach out.

Upon interview, his family claimed he was a loving a caring person. And hours before that, they were visiting Fidel’s mother in Miami and she reported that the couple seemed happy and in love. There was no indication of the monster that would be unleashed mere hours later. (source)

During the hours and hours of interrogation, Lopez claims over and over that he loves Maria and he would never hurt a woman

“She’s a good girl” he said to the interrogator in a heavy Spanish accent “She’s a perfect girl, man. She’s my love” (source)

He loved her right? He couldn’t have done this, right?

Only to finally admit after heavy pressure  that she called him an ex lovers name during sex and he lost it in a drunken rage, admitting to becoming a “monster” trashing his new apartment and viciously murdering his girlfriend, who he claims to love so much, who he “Would never ever hurt.” (Source)

Sadly his is not the only story like his. There are many many instances where people are violently injured or killed due to over drinking.

In a book by Dr. Donal F Sweeney called “The Alcoholic Blackout: Walking, Talking Unconscious & Lethal” he addresses the dangers of someone under the influence, and what he believes happens when someone consumes too much alcohol. Alcohol consumption may temporarily impair the frontal lobe of your brain which is responsible for your impulses. Also during an alcoholic blackout, it is believed that memory cells are created making the memory of the events during the blackout impossible to access. Which is why you can forget something as you are literally in the middle of it.

The scary thing is if you already have violent tendencies even when they are pressed far far down, when your inhibitions are completely lifted and there’s nothing telling you that “this isn’t a good idea” you’re liable to react on impulses and not rationality. If you are emotionally triggered while in this impaired state of mind, it might drive you to do things you wouldn’t do, such as r*pe a girl because you’ve been angered by her rejection, or possibly murder someone for any reason simply due to how you’re feeling in the moment, with no rational thought. Alcohol can make you capable of completely abhorrent violence with no afterthought or memory. And it’s legal.

A review in 2011 show that acute alcohol poisoning plays a roll in at least half of the violent and sexual crimes worldwide. (source) Meaning that half of the violent and sexual crimes in the world probably wouldn’t happen if not for the influence of alcohol. Legal, easily attained with an ID, alcohol. Yet marijuana who’s most dangerous side effect is that you may eat yourself into a coma and has actual medicinal properties is still illegal in more than half of the United states.

Think about that.


Patrick Mahomes named NFL MVP for 2nd time in his career


Just days before Super Bowl LVII, Patrick Mahomes wins his second career MVP honor. This season, he was responsible for 5,250 passing yards (leads NFL), 41 touchdown passes (leads NFL) and a total quartback rating of 77.5 (leads NFL).

The Chiefs’ quarterback received 48 out of 50 votes, beating Jalen Hurts, Josh Allen and Joe Burrow. He came out of the voting with 490 points.

He also set an NFL record 5,614 total yards and played the last two playoff games with a high ankle sprain.

In order to win the MVP, you have to be on a great team and, especially at the quarterback position now, you’re going to have great players around you because while you’re throwing the football, they’ve got to make the plays happen. It’s not only a testament to me but my team because as much as it’s an individual award, it’s a team award as well and I hope my teammates know that. I’m sure they’d be excited for me. I’d hope that they would be. It’s not just me.


HE DID IT! The King overtakes The Captain

Photo of LeBron James in a LA Lakers uniform, wearing the number 6
Lebron James managing the floor

38 revolutions around the sun.

20 years manipulating a burnt orange sphere in the NBA.

4 NBA titles.

38,390 points.

4 teams.

1 man.

LeBron James, at 38 years of age, has passed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as the all-time NBA scorer in history. The Captain, who has held the record since 1984, was there to share in the moment, and pass the torch.

LeBron has often been compared to some sort of super-human because of the way he has mastered his mind in order to discipline his body. Ice baths, stretching, isometric exercises, massages, yoga and pilates… You name it. Although he didn’t start his career that way, incorporating those changes – starting with the mental discipline – has been the backbone of the process of turning talent into skill.

Speaking with ESPN, Tyronn Lue stated that “[LeBron] got caught at an early age with people that were teaching him the right things about how to take care of his body and what it means to have longevity in this league. He followed the guidelines, and look where he’s at today.”

Besides their legendary scoring feats, James and Abdul-Jabbar also share that commitment to discipline that made them the best in their eras. Both Jerry West and Pat Riley made comparisons when speaking about them.

“When [Abdul-Jabbar] played, he looked ageless,” former Lakers general manager Jerry West told ESPN. “I watch LeBron play and he looks like he can play another 5-6 years. He looks younger to me this year than he did last year. That’s what they both have: longevity and performance.”

“What happens with great, great, great players is their amount of intellect and experience and all of that stuff and just knowing the game, that sort of eventually surpasses maybe your physical ability,” Riley told ESPN.

Amidst the arguments over who is the GOAT, one thing is for sure. LeBron will play until he decides to stop. He’s humble. He’s gracious. He’s appreciative. He’s hungry. Says the King, “I knew when I got drafted as an 18-year-old kid that I could play the game of basketball and play it at a high level even against grown men…I worked my tail off for the success… And it’s just been a very humbling and gratifying journey. And I hope people have enjoyed it with me.”

What Is Your Worth?


Here’s a fun fact! The average median income for Americans is approximately $57,000. Let that sink in for a moment. Basically, the average American worker is only worth a mere pittance that barely amounts to a liveable income. How is this acceptable to millions of people? The answer is simple. We define what we are worth. If you accept $10, $15, $20, etc., you are accepting that it is what you are worth. 


I absolutely understand that people have responsibilities and have to work for a living, but you should never be comfortable and accepting of devaluing your worth. You will never become financially independent while working to keep others financially independent. The system of economics dictates that this will never happen. 


Contrarily, this same economic system will sell you on the fantasy that if you work hard and tow the company line, paradise awaits. Devote 40 years of your life to some company, and if you’re lucky, you get a pension that you can barely live on and a replacement the day you leave. That’s a sad and wasted life, in my opinion. Yet, millions and millions of people are perfectly content on settling for crumbs. In the end, we all have choices to make. I would suggest taking a moment to really think about what your worth is to you. 


Most jobs in America are hourly based paying jobs. The objective for any company is to maximize profits, while cutting costs wherever is possible. The easiest place to start is with your labor costs. Now, let’s take someone who has immigrated from a country where they were making $400 a year. To someone in that situation, it may be unimaginable to be able to make $25,000 a year. Any of us know that you can barely live on such money, including the companies who partake in these very hiring practices. The company will sell the illusion that they are providing the American dream to these unfortunate souls, when in reality, they are exploiting these very same people. This leads to loss of jobs for people who can’t live on such ridiculous wages, due to the fact that the companies can get away with paying non-liveable wages to people who know no better than to be grateful for the scraps thrown their way.


Now, let’s break down that almighty caveat, which is getting a raise. The best thing you can hope for in these types of jobs is to receive a raise whenever it is time for your review. Take in mind that these generally occur every 6 months to a year. Obviously, the best outcome during these reviews is to receive a raise for all of the work, dedication, effort and time that you have devoted, thus far. The employer is going to cite anything they can to minimize the raise that is given. If you’re lucky, the company may say that they are very pleased with your work and reward you with a $1 raise. Many people would walk away feeling very good and happy that the company was so generous. Yet, the reality is that you have dedicated a year of your life to be rewarded with an extra $40 a week, before taxes. After taxes, it’s more like $28. In contrast, can you imagine how much profit the company has made off of the year’s worth of work that you provided?


At the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own actions and decisions. Only you can put a value on your time and effort. My intent with this article is to hopefully make people stop and reflect upon how much they value themselves. Our economic system is absolutely designed and fueled by companies exploiting their workers. It’s built on illusion and fallacy. Sadly, most people are more comfortable living in illusion and fallacy. 


I Wish You Roses


In her newest release, I Wish You Roses, Kali Uchis again brings her crisp falsetto to the forefront, riding the waves of a sultry groove that is sure to take you “there.”

Kali Uchis, juxtaposed against a blue, red and orange transparent rose
I Wish You Roses – released Jan 19, 2023

“I wish you love. I wish you well. I wish you roses while you can still smell them…” Truthfully, listening to this track, I don’t know if I should be sad because of love lost, or honored at the potential for love at all. Between the guitar riffs melding with her wistful harmonies and the pulsating bassline moving you through a story comparing the beauty of roses with the possibility of a bee sting, Kali paints a vivid picture of sorrow, happiness, remembrance, and gratitude.

I was a rose in the garden of weedsMy petals are soft and silky as my sheetsSo do not be afraid to get pricked by the thornsWhile I’m here, I’m someone to honorWhen I’m gone, I’m someone to mourn
But if you and my heartShould someday drift apartI’ll make sure to give you these blessingsBecause they’re all I’ve got
My love’s deep as the oceanDon’t you drown on meJust know any love I gave youIs forever yours to keep
I initially listened to I Wish You Roses on my studio monitors, and I could tell that the production was well done. However, once I put on my earbuds, I was fully immersed in her energy. “You’re gonna want me back… You know I can’t do that.” The stereo field was wide and warm, there was a great balance in the panning between the vocals and the instruments, the bass was not overwhelming, and the drums were right in the pocket. Admittedly, I haven’t paid much attention to her before today, but she officially has my ear. Go check her out!

The Real Problem Is Blue


With the murder of Tyre Nichols by five police officers in Memphis, it would seem that we all, unfortunately, are trying to understand how black men are constantly being murdered by the police? The glaring difference in this particular case is that these officers were also black. In my opinion, this points to the real problem, which is the overall attitude and mindset that permeates law enforcement throughout this country. Obviously, racism is a huge problem within law enforcement, and it’s easy to cite race when it’s white officers perpetrating against black individuals. However, as we see in this particular incident, these heinous abuses are not only limited to the simple matter of race. At the end of the day, whether black, white, latino, asian, etc., blue will always choose blue. It’s time to stop with the argument that this is only representative of a small minority of so-called bad officers. The fact of the matter is that the bad cops couldn’t exist and conduct themselves as they do, without the so-called good cops turning a blind eye or abetting these attitudes and behaviors through their silence. Law Enforcement in The United States is biased, flawed and broken. It calls for trust from the community, while simultaneously abusing and terrorizing that same community. Officers are very rarely held to the same accountability as ordinary citizens. They are more of a gang, shielded by a badge. The time is long overdue to completely revamp our ideas and attitudes of what exactly law enforcement should actually be.

One prudent suggestion is to drastically overhaul hiring practices. In the U.S., there are around 18,000 police agencies, yet there are no national standards on training or procedures. In many departments, a high school diploma or G.E.D. is all that is required. Compare that to almost every other developed country in the world where a university degree is required. U.S. academies also spend far more time on firearms training than on de-escalation of a situation. Everything is based on force here. 

Another disturbing statistic is that approximately 1,000 people a year are killed by the police in the United States; mostly by gunshot. Yet, while the majority of the world’s law enforcement carry firearms, no developed country uses them against it’s citizens as often as officers in the U.S.; disproportionately against blacks, may I add. Officers in the U.S., on average, spend around 21 weeks training before they are qualified to go on patrol. This is far less than other developed countries where the average is 71 weeks.

Perhaps it would be wise to rethink our hiring practices and training techniques, here in the United States. As citizens, this continued abuse by the police should not be tolerated. We, as a society, must demand better. The police should be held to higher standards. Unfortunately, as history keeps repeating, we see that they are held to little, if any.  


Can your teeth be causing your medical issues?

Photo showing a dental cross-section and a picture of the human brain
The nerves from our teeth are connected directly to the brain, and each tooth has an energetic connection to different organs and functions in the body. Photo courtesy of Archibald Dental Centre


Teeth are living organisms. They have a blood supply, nerve supply, a “skeletal structure,” and even a protective covering, akin to human skin. Recently, an article published in Neuroscience News reported that “a genetic predisposition to oral health problems increased the risk of white matter hyperintensities and was associated with a 43% increase in microstructural damage in the brain.” Although this information has been scientifically studied and is due to be presented at the American Stroke Association’s International Stroke Conference next week, it is not new.

Numerous scientific studies [1] [2] [3] and vast anecdotal stories show the link between teeth/gum health and overall health, from ancient times until now. In fact, there is an entire field of dentistry, aptly called Holistic Dentistry or Biologic Dentistry, that deals with this exact phenomenon.

Tooth meridian chart showing the relationship between the teeth and the organs
The relationship between your teeth and organs
Photo Courtesy of Dr. Yuriy May – Natural Dentistry Center

Each tooth and its corresponding nerve root directly connect to the brain. Each tooth and its corresponding blood supply directly connect to the heart. Holistic dentistry (and various forms of ancient medicine from multiple cultures) also posit that the teeth correspond to meridians in the body, linking them to our organs. This would explain how oral infections can be linked to Alzheimer’s, Hypertension, Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and even mental dysfunctions like Schizophrenia and Depression, and poor school performance in children[3] [4].

Image showing the anatomy of a tooth
Tooth Anatomy
Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

Then, there are root canals. Root canals, at their core, are designed to fix the problem of a dead tooth. However, according to Dr. Gary Verigin in an article written for The Radiant Healing Arts Center, patients with chronic disease processes like high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease were 3x more likely than healthy patients to have infected root canals. He goes on to say that this is possible because of the very nature of the procedure. The dentin, blood and nerve supplies are removed, the cavity cleaned, filled and then covered with a crown. However, he states that because of the very nature of the tooth, there is no way to sanitize the tooth and kill any lingering bacteria completely. It is this bacteria that is then trapped inside the tooth, left to proliferate, and travel to various organs in the body via the bloodstream.

Dental health matters. Research is ongoing, but this is one area in which people are able to contribute to their own health. Brushing, flossing, and hydration are simple ways to keep your mouth, teeth, and gums healthy. According to Cyprian Rivier, M.D., M.S., “Studying oral health is especially important because poor oral health happens frequently and is an easily modifiable risk factor – everyone can effectively improve their oral health with minimal time and financial investment.”



Romantic pursuit turns deadly….

Blanca Olivia Arellano Gutiérrez / Facebook

In this digital age it’s often easy to forget one of the earliest survival rules imbedded in us as children, “stranger danger.” With so much of our lives consumed with social media, its easy to feel like the person or persons you’re communicating with are no longer “strangers,” we start to forget that we don’t actually know these people. We may even start to develop romantic feelings for these people and find ourselves deep in relationships all the while forgetting that we don’t actually know anything really about this person that we are communicating with. The danger comes in when we cross our digital lives with our real ones, and upon meeting these people, we often find out that the person we have been talking to (sometimes for years even) isn’t actually who we thought. Oftentimes it’s simply a disappointment and we move on with our lives, slightly disgruntled and perhaps more cautious in our online endeavors, but every once in a while, we aren’t so fortunate to just meet someone with a few more personality quirks than we were prepared for, sometimes we are dangerously reminded of that old childhood rule of stranger danger, as we find ourselves face to face with a monster.

Sadly, this is what happened to 51-year-old Blanca Arellano, as she prepared to journey over 3000 miles from Mexico to Peru to meet her online boyfriend 37-year-old Juan Pablo Jesus Villafuerte. Arellano and Villafuerte had been communicating for months after meeting on an online gambling forum before Arellano decided to take the trip to meet her lover, claiming that the online relationship proved to be standing the test of an in-person one and she had even developed feelings of love for the man she had only known behind a screen. After informing her family of her plans, Arellano headed for the beach city of Huacho for what was supposed to be a romantic getaway, but sadly it would be weeks before anyone would realize something was amiss.

After not hearing from her aunt in weeks, Karla Arellano took to social media in a frantic and heartfelt search for her. She tweeted that she had begun to have unsettling feelings about the 37-year-old medical student after a conversation with him in November revealed that he and Arellano had fallen out, claiming that she had headed back to Mexico after discovering that he could not provide the life she wanted. This raised red flags as her niece claimed “she would never just disappear like that ever and less without warning”

After Ms.Arellano’s nieces post started gaining more traction online, Peruvian authorities launched an investigation into the missing Mexican woman, and on November 10 the horrific discovery of a severed finger with a silver ring still attached, confirmed the worst for Arellano’s family. Sadly, the fingertips had been removed in an attempt to conceal identity, but the family recognized the ring as Arellano’s, confirming that the finger belonged to their missing family member.

Over the next few days, more body parts began washing up on the shores of Huacho, including a faceless head, an arm, and a torso with the organs removed. On November 17, an arrest warrant was issued for Villafuerte, and he was picked up as the primary suspect and arrested on charges of human organs trafficking. In the days to follow, things would only get worse as Villafuerte had allegedly been posting videos on Tik Tok shortly after Arellano’s disappearance, showing him dissecting human organs, including a pancreas, and a brain. (El Popular)

After searching the home of the suspect, authorities found evidence of foul play, finding blood spattering throughout entire apartment and further confirming the horrors Ms.Arellano endured.

“We have no words to express what we are experiencing,” Karla tweeted on Wednesday. “My aunt was a kind, warm person, full of light, intelligent, dedicated, loving and that is how she should be remembered.”

Assault is assault, no matter the environment: Sexual assault and how it is overlooked in strip clubs


As someone who’s been working in the industry for over ten years, I cannot even begin to try to count how many times some man has tried to stick his fingers or his….”member” inside of me unannounced, or has tried to lick or kiss me, unprovoked without a single thought as to what I wanted or did not want. In their horny little minds, “She (me) loves this, she wants this” simply due to my job because “how could I not?” Now consider, how many times someone was actually successful at ramming a stubby finger right into his goal. Just how many times whoever his victim was had to go off from that “dance” and recompose herself in the bathrooms or locker rooms of the club. How many times that exact thing may have happened on THAT very night? How many times she’s had to get herself together AGAIN and go back on the floor with no intention to tell anyone, besides, what would even be the point? It’s never a big deal. No one cares what happens to dancers.

For us? It’s ALWAYS a big deal.

I’m here to speak to the men who pull out their half hard chubs and tuck it under their shirts hoping to fenagle it in throughout the dance, the ones who disgustingly assume that just because a woman is working, that she desires this and has no level of consent. You are the rapist, you are the predators. Consent is real and very necessary. If you initiate anything that was not consented to, it is now sexual assault and many many times borders on if not is already, full on rape. Now I do understand there are some women who allow and encourage this behavior, (I’m not here to speak on my opinion nor offer any judgement on how some women handle their experiences at the clubs). I’m here to point out that those women are giving their consent, and anyone experiencing someone else in a sexually charged environment should wait for some form of physical and verbal consent. If you don’t know, ask. Never ever ever assume that because of a woman’s eyes, clothing (or lack thereof), body language or “vibe”, that she is on the same page you are, ask. And even more importantly, accept her answer.

I’ve had one too many experiences when dancing where some man thought it would be fine to stick his face into my privates, some even going as far as to grab me to hold me in place as they attempted straight up oral sex again without my consent and then had the audacity to be upset with me for defending my own body. What’s worse is the clubs will often back these customers if they are paying, therefore leaving whatever poor girl that is in this situation alone and vulnerable and often forcing them to “get over it” due to fear of losing their income.

The exploitation and abuse that happens inside the adult entertainment industry is quite frankly not only bananas but extremely frightening. Managers getting their own dancers drunk with the intent to pull them into a camera blind space and have their own ways, is very often overlooked by law enforcement when reported “because the girl is drunk, or is simply not a reliable victim”. Whatever that means. That is if the crime is even reported. Many many many times, the assault is simply brushed under the table and club life moves on. Sometimes it is even viewed as normal, so much so that the victim may not even realize she was victimized, thinking it is all just a part of the job. Speaking with many young girls who work in the industry, I was horrified and completely appalled at just how many thought that you had to allow men to do “extra’s” in order to make their money. As if the only way they can afford their living expenses is to come to work, grit their teeth and allow it. Actually let me clarify that a bit. When I first started dancing, “extras” was a thing offered only by certain girls, of course many men tried their things but knew that would be kicked out if they were caught fondling any of the entertainers in any inappropriate manner. But for the most part, if you wanted a deeper more intimate experience you had to go to one of the women who allowed it and to get it…you paid quite handsomely. Somehow over the last ten years or so, the industry has changed so much that when new girls are coming into the clubs, they are made to believe that violating acts are just a part of the job. That when you give a $40 dance, if the man wants his fingers inside of you, that you need to just shut up and be grateful because if you don’t allow it, he won’t buy another dance and simply go to now, one of the many many many other women who have also been gritting their teeth and taking it. The difference between these young women, and the women back in the day who would charge for the extras, is the women back in the day were in control of their own bodies and paychecks, and were exploiting desperate men and getting paid, it was all by choice, and it all came with consent. Now these poor young women are NOT consenting, they are afraid to say no. Or conditioned not to. They know if they flip out, there goes their money and quite possibly their jobs. It is not the same.

Aside from the absolute mental trauma that repeated instances like these create, we haven’t even mentioned the physical consequences. This is a major reason strip clubs are breeding grounds for STD’s. While yes, consensual sex happens often, imagine just how easy it is for an infection to spread via someone’s hands who just got 16 dances and shoved his fingers inside 10 of them. Imagine if just one of them had some sort of STI. Now, who knows who else has it? These inconsiderate men are NOT washing their hands after every single woman. I promise you. No, they are getting up with their now infected hands, walking out onto the floor, grabbing another young lady for a dance and proceeding to do the same things with that young woman. It’s a very scary thought. You bend over to twerk on stage and a man who just spent the past 15 minutes giving some girl head, rips your underwear to the side and licks you faster than you can react.


In the world outside the club, if a man licks you without consent, we call him a pervert. Shoves his fingers in you unprovoked, we call the police.Correct? Takes a picture up your skirt on a crowded bus? We create a well deserving fuss and the pervert in question is taken care of. Right? Well for the most part I would think so. However in almost every instance of assault in the clubs, these situations are over looked and they happen multiple times an hour, a club. They are so overlooked that starting a fuss about it, “creating a scene” is frowned upon, more often than not creating penalties for the victim. And let that man have been infected and has now unknowingly and carelessly passed that on to the victim, can she sue? Can she press charges?

Probably not.

And that is why I’m writing this article.

I’m writing this article for the women who feel as if they can’t say no, who feel as if they can’t lose their jobs. I’m here to tell you that assault is never okay, and it’s never worth it. Say something, defend yourself, screw the club, the management the bouncers. If you feel you can’t say no, you were led wrong, leave. One of the beautiful things about working as a dancer in the adult entertainment industry is your ability to be anywhere, the freedom you have to move around. There are thousands and thousands of clubs all over the country, and fortunately there are places where management truly cares about us girls and the safety of the environments that we work in. So leave, find a better environment. There’s a great app that I used often called ‘The Dancers Resource’ created by dancers for dancers where us women can link and speak to other girls in the industry, share our experiences, recommend and rate the clubs, engage in forums specifically made for us, and when necessary, push to blacklist places that entertain and encourage these violating behaviors.

And I’m writing this article for the men and anyone else who feels that they have the right to our bodies, that they are somehow entitled to anything they want simply because a woman’s chosen profession is to dance. The job is literally a fantasy, you do not get to decide to make it real whenever you wish. Your forty, four hundred even four thousand dollars do not give you the right to handle women any which way you want. The only one who can give that right is the woman herself. If you become just so overwhelmed with lust that you decide to shove your fingers inside her underwear without permission, you are just as disgusting as the man who takes pictures up a woman’s skirt in a crowded train. You are perverted, selfish and unnatural. If you pull your junk out for an unsuspecting woman to sit on when her back is turned, you are a rapist. And I wrote this to let you know that you are stomach-turning and vile. And that it is predatory behavior.

In conclusion, the strip club should be a place where grown people can play inside of their fantasies. Not a place where people go to take advantage of a person simply because you decide the environment allows for it. We learned about consent as children, and we should remember my body is mine and it is up to me how I allow you to engage me.

You paid for a dance.

The environment does not change the rules of consent.